Friday Fuck Up: The Carbonara Scramble | Endless Simmer

My boyfriend couldn’t have been happier. I brought pig into the house. Thinly sliced, smoked pig. Bacon. Bacon. Bacon.

The oven was home to our first usage—bacon baked quickly and at a high temperature for an evenly cooked crisp. We bit at the bacon in between bites of eggs and toast. A simple introduction.

We thought we’d keep it easy. Let bacon flavor an angel hair carbonara.

I looked up a few recipes on Epicurious and understood, well, thought I understood, the gist of a carbonara.

Cook bacon. Remove bacon. Cook onion in its grease. Boil Pasta. Combine parm and egg in separate bowl. Combine hot pasta, onion, bacon and parm-egg mixture. Toss. Creamy deliciousness.

Of course, it wasn’t that simple. My carbonara got fucked.

I followed directions at the beginning, but along with the (red) onion I added diced (purple and red) peppers and garlic. Things were going well. The whole wheat angel hair cooked quickly, but in enough time for me to stir together 2 eggs, parm cheese and ricotta. I borrowed a tip fromanother recipeto let the eggs warm by placing them whole (in shells) in warm water. I have no idea if this contributed to the over all problem, but this must have brought additional heat to the equation.

Everything is set. I checked back to thedirections. And misread them causing fatal damage to the dish.

When the pasta finished cooking, I scooped it right into the onion mixture, which is on low heat. I mixed the pasta around, added arugula, parsley and the cooked bacon and then poured the parm-egg mixture on top of the pasta on the HOT pan.

>>>>ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR <<<<

This right here is what fucked up the dish. The residual heat from the pasta is supposed to melt the eggs. Direct heat to the eggs scrambles them instead. So there it is. (See picture above for clumps of egg.)

A dish oft messed up, as confirmed by ES SeniorItalianCorrespondenttvff. Usually I can’t identify what went wrong, particularly with baking, but this mistake is evident.

I am however, up for hearing fixes. Can I just simply take the pasta to the“cold” bowl of the parm-egg and everything will work out okay?

We have 12 more slices of bacon.

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