Friday Fuck Up:This Tastes NOTHING Like a Chip | Endless Simmer

Clearly I was shaken up. Last week I welcomed the news of two engagements of very dear friends. The term“dear friends” is quite obnoxious, I know, but these are like super good friends, well, couples, and I am so excited. That must be the only excuse for this fuck up. Because unlike most other times I open up my oven to face a disaster, I actually followed a recipe.

My friend Hickey, of one of the engaged couples, came to DC from her home in Pennsylvania and I gladly made us dinner. I wasn’t actually sure what to put together but basically I stuffed a lot of crap inside this huge pumpkin-shaped eggplant. It was an elaborate, multi-step experience and while the inside concoction of corn, tomatoes, blended eggplant, ricotta and I forget what else was surely tasty, the outer shell of the eggplant did not cook fully and basically served the function of a ceramic bowl, which is of course not the point of baking food in something edible in the first place.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. Shit, the crappy Cook’s champagne wasn’t even the worst. T’was the kale.

You all know there is a slight kale obsession going on these days. Notice exhibits A through D: Kale.Kale.Kale.Kale. But I always take it raw. For my newly engaged friend I decided to try something I’ve been seeingALotof: crispy kale chips.

I followedSteamy Kitchen’s instructions, who claimed,

And then you call it“Crispy Kale” see if your kids will eat it…Yup!

As a kale lover to start, I knew this would be great if even her KIDS would eat it.

Well I did what she said and washed the kale, dried the kale very well, tore it into small pieces, tossed with oil, placed in the oven and held the salt to the end. I followed it perfectly.

It tasted like grass. Like mushy, burnt, gross, grass. Some pieces were crispy, but it still didn’t taste good. If you got a crispy section with some salt, it wasn’t totally terrible, but nothing I’d deem as addictive, as so many other bloggers declared.

Luckily we had the option to snack on purple basil flecked ricotta, heirloom tomatoes and fresh bread instead.

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