Talk Like a Pirate Day | Endless Simmer

I’ve definitelyranted about all of those“Day of Days,”as I so eloquently called the phenomenon. A day for soft serve ice cream, a day for mustard, a day for bulk foods…

Anyway, I think I may have found the best“day of” yet:Talk Like a Pirate Day. Which of course, is today, September 19th.

I don’t know what may pop into your head when you hear“pirate”– is it Peter Pan, Pittsburgh baseball, puffed rice? Well for me, it’s a quote from the best movie of all time: PCU.

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!

President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!

Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

{turns on Droz}

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…

Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?

Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!

{Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said}

Droz: {to the students} Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!

{the students then go after Rand}

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!

President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!

Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

{turns on Droz}

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…

Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?

Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!

{Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said}

Droz: {to the students} Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!

{the students then go after Rand}

To celebrate this pirate madness,Pirate’s Bootyis giving away a chest of goodies to one of our readers.

We’ll pick a commenter by random, but just leave a comment in this post about anything, hopefully about pirates, but Eagles football will work too. Oh, or about food.

Here are some pirate-speak definitions to inspire your comments.

Comments are due midnight EST, Monday, September 20th.

Scallywag– Mild insult similar to rapscallion or rouge.

Scurvy Dog– The pirate talking directly to you with mild insult.

Shiver me timbers!– Comparable to “Holy crap!”

Son of a biscuit eater– Insult directed towards someone you don’t like.

Three sheets to the wind– Someone who is very drunk.

And of course

Pirate’s Booty!– Pirate’s treasure and also a favorite snack that’s’ good anytime!  Pirate’s Booty is a deliciously baked rice and corn puff that’s baked, all-natural trans-fat and gluten-free.

Source